You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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