I just cut my nipple shaving
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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