Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
