we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
