YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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