if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
