I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Randomize
