He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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