you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize
