I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
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