You made me cry and you don't even care
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
