ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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