is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
