never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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