Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Randomize