Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
