well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
