Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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