You really coming over, don't trick.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
