Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
