I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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