Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Randomize
