I cockslap morals
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
