the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize