You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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