I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize
