I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
why do cheetos always look like penises
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
