is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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