I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
