My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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