Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
