did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
