Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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