when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
