Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
