I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize