guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Someone came in the potted fern
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
