Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
sex in a hospital.. check
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
