Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
