I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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