I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
im holly from the hills drunk
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
