All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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