He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
