dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
