he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize
