I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
