I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
