Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
