She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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