David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
