Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
