So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
