her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he's gonorrhea incarnate
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
