When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
