Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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