This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Randomize
