my phone needs a breathalizer
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Randomize
