I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
COCAINE IS GR8
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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