16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize