I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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