so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
