just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
