i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
